Journal entries Jan2003
The following are journal entries during fieldwork for my Community Development Course at UP. January 2003. We conducted research around the Taal-Tagaytay area.January 13-17. So I start creating a new story, write some of my thoughts. When I write in my diary it's mostly about people I meet, what I did that day, without setting the mood as writers in novels do. Some insights perhaps, but mostly facts. I have some reservations in doing this, though. When you write something and people read it, you're partly judged by the thoughts and ideas you come up with, even though writing may not fully capture the subtleties of feeling and commitment and the complexities of the thought process itself. Moreover, thought is non-linear, writing has to have some kind of organization, unless you're postmodernists or writing for a new genre. Even as a writer, I don't follow the form demanded by this journal project. In the past year, I've also noticed that my works were mostly political commentaries and not what I would call personal writing. People like it, but I feel there's some literary loss somewhere. .It's a new turn I guess.
ED whole week. During a workshop session, thought of winnable issues vs commercial fishing and pollution then surround eco-tourism issue. The theory goes like this: with eco-tourism on the move, the system of capital encroaching on traditional fishing grounds produces its own contradictions that we can exploit. On the surface, advocates will see fish cages as polluting, therefore bad for tourism. Commercial fishing such as suro will produce environmental rift, again bad for tourism. Therefore, with the globalization thrust through ecotourism, the issues of pollution and commercial fishing will have crusaders against them in the locality, even among elites. But you might think that commercial fishing and pollution are part and parcel, reinforces the system where the rich benefit to the detriment of everything else. True, while the practices put the skids under the system on one level, they reproduce its logic on another. Thus, while we exploit the contradictions produced, we must be wary that the system does appropriate commercial fishing and pollution, and that these are also logical extensions of globalization. In the meantime, we organize, gain allies, fishnet the complexities and target the pana at the bigger threat posed by ecotourism.
January 18. Went through Halang. Learned my theory of winnable issues already being practiced by people like Ka Mila. They've already gained considerable organizing gains in that direction. Also confirmed my hypothesis last year of migration patterns of fish blocked by fish cages in Nasipit. Should be more assertive in tactical modes. Took a boat to Kalumayin.
Kalumayin, Cuenca- Met Barangay Captain Lubi and family. Met Len. Went to Bob Garon's house. The spiritual adviser teaches charity not social change. Ate at Konsehal's house. Ate again at Captain Lubi's Superstition, even among organizers. Telling stories at night, was explaining to Ram how such phenomena happen but do not necessarily have supernatural explanation.
January 19. First saw fishcages. Starting to get the lake situation. Seems being separated from former team-mates a good thing. Maybe because felt that the redundancy situation minimized and nagging disappeared. They were getting the info but now I'm forced to get into it. Observations of their washing also paid off. Now initiating plate-washing to be respectful to hosts.
Thought before that I was irritated into being forced to speak. We all have our strengths and weaknesses, I thought, some talk, others write. In UP, you have a whole tibak culture oriented towards producing "mass leaders" which I found discriminating. Not to me, I developed relative immunity from peer criticism. Maybe because I got my share of it, and through experience found unrealized ideas would have been better, or the ones I successfully did contradicted established views, now recognized. Unite, but struggle, too.
"Mass leaders" useful as mouthpieces of the movement, if they don't develop egos, but many others are better at other aspects of organizing that are equally, if not more, important. Am also conscious of all-round development. Be one with the people, not become part of an artificial class. Despite all the books exhorting leadership, I think we should be developing empowered people, not leaders, with all the connotations of followers and superiority. What we should be developing should be co-travellers on a journey. Elaborate later.
I surely kept reminding myself that "every moment is an opportunity to propagandize," but can't do it all the time. But now I feel freer to do this, and I'm benefiting for the knowledge of the situation. Wala nang kontra eh:) Besides, I'm not silent all the time. How could we have done things if things were always as surmised by the meditative pose?
Revised stand on fishcages. As long as it's people living around benefiting and taking care of them, fine. But not the likes of Bong Pineda who has 200 'holes' (fish cages). Big people, you see, the class thing. Texted Muriel why is it that most fish cages are in Talisay? Is it near Manila (geographic proximity to market) or was it something facilitated by big-name families? Learned later that it was both, and Muriel's group suspect it was facilitated by BFAR. Bureaucrat-capitalism at its best.
Note: Take photos of fish cages next time.
Trek up from Kalumayin to Balagbag. Engineers didn't even snake the pavement around the slope to make it easier for trekkers. Nagtipid. Still, at least we've learned local geography, inefficient method I might add, but for first-hand knowledge enthusiasts, fine enough. We now know which road to take next time.
Land around volcano probably the crater of volcano in distant past. But pressure can't extend to that large a hole. It has to localize, centered in Calauit. Imagine, if its crater's that big. Either it would be a very powerful explosion or a spurt. Same with focus. The analogy, though, may be inaccurate. Sometimes when you're "all-around," it's useful for flexibility, non-compartmentalization and alliance work. But one takes his/her lessons at a time. Focus, and explode at volcanic levels.
Sto. Tomas - Was talking with Jenny and Gwen over dinner. Hearing Tambisan's revision of Sex Bomb Dancer's "Laban, Laban." Commented that somewhere perhaps in the late 90s, there was a transition in cultural theory that took into account the popular attraction of such phenomena. Capitalists also study what "clicks" with the masses and appropriates pop culture towards consumption. Take the example of advertising. Capitalists study what attracts tastes and profit from such research. Activists must have learned the lessons, that popular culture can be turned into progressive culture by speaking the language of the masses, not only in the activist sense of knowing their situation, but by not creating a foreign sub-culture understood only by the organized
January 20. While the EDSA II commemorations were going on in Manila, Gwen, Muriel, Giselle and I went to Batangas City to get governor's endorsement letter. Note: lion's Den delicious sandwich and salads. Tiring Day. Went to PENRO, saw inside Museo Batangas. Tourism Office. While photocopying, saw students in Lyceum and saw situation that their lives didn't seem to be touched by the happenings in EDSA. Feet wounds not yet healed.
Jan 21 - travel to Manila. Picket at DAR. Attended to some things. Mang Jimmy's with new and old SR and friends. Felt guilty eating that much greasy food. Presented at DAR.
Jan 22- Mendiola Massacre anniversary. March then presented, "namasista" in Mendiola. Saw Ronalyn of CEGP, some friends. Got last covers of Arthur Clarke's Collected Stories and Dune. Travel back to ST.
Jan 23. Went to Lipa. Didn't see Vilma.
Jan 24- Had to personally appear at ACLE. Consulted GY chair on women organizing. Attended to some things.
Jan 25-26 The ugly toad, when immersed in a pot of water, acclimatizes to its situation. When you put fire under it, and heat it very slowly, the toad will barely notice. Slowly heat it up, bubbles form, until the water boils. The toad in the end struggles, but it's too late and the toad scalds to death.
The fire is us (outside catalyst). The pot is Taal. The boiling water is the people. The toad is the ugly system.
Balete- poblacion. Got interrogated by police because I was reading the newspapers for hours at the gymnasium. Asked them who they were. Praning. Back in Konsehal Nelson Diokno's place. Touched by Konsehala's story of not being able to afford to send Nelvie to school and she has to work tomorrow.
Jan 27. Went through Palsara. Saw that many people there wouldn't make it to college. In Looc. Interview. Went through Lipa. Secretaries were all over Tyrone and his hair.
ED whole week. During a workshop session, thought of winnable issues vs commercial fishing and pollution then surround eco-tourism issue. The theory goes like this: with eco-tourism on the move, the system of capital encroaching on traditional fishing grounds produces its own contradictions that we can exploit. On the surface, advocates will see fish cages as polluting, therefore bad for tourism. Commercial fishing such as suro will produce environmental rift, again bad for tourism. Therefore, with the globalization thrust through ecotourism, the issues of pollution and commercial fishing will have crusaders against them in the locality, even among elites. But you might think that commercial fishing and pollution are part and parcel, reinforces the system where the rich benefit to the detriment of everything else. True, while the practices put the skids under the system on one level, they reproduce its logic on another. Thus, while we exploit the contradictions produced, we must be wary that the system does appropriate commercial fishing and pollution, and that these are also logical extensions of globalization. In the meantime, we organize, gain allies, fishnet the complexities and target the pana at the bigger threat posed by ecotourism.
January 18. Went through Halang. Learned my theory of winnable issues already being practiced by people like Ka Mila. They've already gained considerable organizing gains in that direction. Also confirmed my hypothesis last year of migration patterns of fish blocked by fish cages in Nasipit. Should be more assertive in tactical modes. Took a boat to Kalumayin.
Kalumayin, Cuenca- Met Barangay Captain Lubi and family. Met Len. Went to Bob Garon's house. The spiritual adviser teaches charity not social change. Ate at Konsehal's house. Ate again at Captain Lubi's Superstition, even among organizers. Telling stories at night, was explaining to Ram how such phenomena happen but do not necessarily have supernatural explanation.
January 19. First saw fishcages. Starting to get the lake situation. Seems being separated from former team-mates a good thing. Maybe because felt that the redundancy situation minimized and nagging disappeared. They were getting the info but now I'm forced to get into it. Observations of their washing also paid off. Now initiating plate-washing to be respectful to hosts.
Thought before that I was irritated into being forced to speak. We all have our strengths and weaknesses, I thought, some talk, others write. In UP, you have a whole tibak culture oriented towards producing "mass leaders" which I found discriminating. Not to me, I developed relative immunity from peer criticism. Maybe because I got my share of it, and through experience found unrealized ideas would have been better, or the ones I successfully did contradicted established views, now recognized. Unite, but struggle, too.
"Mass leaders" useful as mouthpieces of the movement, if they don't develop egos, but many others are better at other aspects of organizing that are equally, if not more, important. Am also conscious of all-round development. Be one with the people, not become part of an artificial class. Despite all the books exhorting leadership, I think we should be developing empowered people, not leaders, with all the connotations of followers and superiority. What we should be developing should be co-travellers on a journey. Elaborate later.
I surely kept reminding myself that "every moment is an opportunity to propagandize," but can't do it all the time. But now I feel freer to do this, and I'm benefiting for the knowledge of the situation. Wala nang kontra eh:) Besides, I'm not silent all the time. How could we have done things if things were always as surmised by the meditative pose?
Revised stand on fishcages. As long as it's people living around benefiting and taking care of them, fine. But not the likes of Bong Pineda who has 200 'holes' (fish cages). Big people, you see, the class thing. Texted Muriel why is it that most fish cages are in Talisay? Is it near Manila (geographic proximity to market) or was it something facilitated by big-name families? Learned later that it was both, and Muriel's group suspect it was facilitated by BFAR. Bureaucrat-capitalism at its best.
Note: Take photos of fish cages next time.
Trek up from Kalumayin to Balagbag. Engineers didn't even snake the pavement around the slope to make it easier for trekkers. Nagtipid. Still, at least we've learned local geography, inefficient method I might add, but for first-hand knowledge enthusiasts, fine enough. We now know which road to take next time.
Land around volcano probably the crater of volcano in distant past. But pressure can't extend to that large a hole. It has to localize, centered in Calauit. Imagine, if its crater's that big. Either it would be a very powerful explosion or a spurt. Same with focus. The analogy, though, may be inaccurate. Sometimes when you're "all-around," it's useful for flexibility, non-compartmentalization and alliance work. But one takes his/her lessons at a time. Focus, and explode at volcanic levels.
Sto. Tomas - Was talking with Jenny and Gwen over dinner. Hearing Tambisan's revision of Sex Bomb Dancer's "Laban, Laban." Commented that somewhere perhaps in the late 90s, there was a transition in cultural theory that took into account the popular attraction of such phenomena. Capitalists also study what "clicks" with the masses and appropriates pop culture towards consumption. Take the example of advertising. Capitalists study what attracts tastes and profit from such research. Activists must have learned the lessons, that popular culture can be turned into progressive culture by speaking the language of the masses, not only in the activist sense of knowing their situation, but by not creating a foreign sub-culture understood only by the organized
January 20. While the EDSA II commemorations were going on in Manila, Gwen, Muriel, Giselle and I went to Batangas City to get governor's endorsement letter. Note: lion's Den delicious sandwich and salads. Tiring Day. Went to PENRO, saw inside Museo Batangas. Tourism Office. While photocopying, saw students in Lyceum and saw situation that their lives didn't seem to be touched by the happenings in EDSA. Feet wounds not yet healed.
Jan 21 - travel to Manila. Picket at DAR. Attended to some things. Mang Jimmy's with new and old SR and friends. Felt guilty eating that much greasy food. Presented at DAR.
Jan 22- Mendiola Massacre anniversary. March then presented, "namasista" in Mendiola. Saw Ronalyn of CEGP, some friends. Got last covers of Arthur Clarke's Collected Stories and Dune. Travel back to ST.
Jan 23. Went to Lipa. Didn't see Vilma.
Jan 24- Had to personally appear at ACLE. Consulted GY chair on women organizing. Attended to some things.
Jan 25-26 The ugly toad, when immersed in a pot of water, acclimatizes to its situation. When you put fire under it, and heat it very slowly, the toad will barely notice. Slowly heat it up, bubbles form, until the water boils. The toad in the end struggles, but it's too late and the toad scalds to death.
The fire is us (outside catalyst). The pot is Taal. The boiling water is the people. The toad is the ugly system.
Balete- poblacion. Got interrogated by police because I was reading the newspapers for hours at the gymnasium. Asked them who they were. Praning. Back in Konsehal Nelson Diokno's place. Touched by Konsehala's story of not being able to afford to send Nelvie to school and she has to work tomorrow.
Jan 27. Went through Palsara. Saw that many people there wouldn't make it to college. In Looc. Interview. Went through Lipa. Secretaries were all over Tyrone and his hair.
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